Pain for the Pain.
It was earlier this year that I had begun to be bothered by a pain in my left shoulder. It totally hindered my range of motion where I wasn’t able to lift things above my head or even move my arm a certain way without pain. I thought it was just post exercise aches, but when it didn’t go away, I started to become alarmed. Well, I wasn’t alarmed enough to see my rheumatologist right away. After 4 months of bitching and moaning, I finally saw my rheumatologist on my routine check up. He told me that I had tendinitis and that with a steroid shot, I would feel all better. The shot hurt like hell, but made the tightness in my arm go away.
I should have known that it was not to last. The pain gradually returned in full force. I awaited my next doctor visit, ready for my next steroid shot. But no…
“I’m sending you to physical therapy instead.”
My reaction to that: What the hell? You can’t just pump me up with drugs?
After my first session yesterday, my fear was realized: the doctor had prescribed pain for the pain. As human beings, our instinct is to avoid pain and discomfort, which explains why I never liked stretching this pain out. I have to learn, however, to “lean into my discomfort” as I have read in so many books lately. Only in taking the discomfort will I be able to cure this pain…
I won’t like it, but I know it will be worth it.